Headlights letra

Mom, I know I let you down
And though you say the days are happy
Why is the power off and I'm f*cked up and
Mom, I know he's not around
But don't you place the blame on me
As you pour yourself another drink, yeah

I guess, we are who we are
Headlights shining in the dark night I drive on
Maybe we took this too far

I went in headfirst, never thinking about who what I said hurt
In what verse, my mom probably got it the worst, the brunt of it
But as stubborn as we are, did I take it too far, "Cleanin' Out My Closet"
And all them other songs, but regardless I don't hate you
'Cause ma, you're still beautiful to me, 'cause you're my mom
Though far be it from you to be calm, our house was Vietnam
Desert Storm and both of us put together could form an atomic bomb
Equivalent to chemical warfare and forever we could drag this on and on
But, agree to disagree, that gift for me up under the Christmas tree
Don't mean shit to me, you're kicking me out? It's 15 degrees and
It's Christmas Eve, "Little prick, just leave," ma, let me grab my f*cking coat
Anything to have each other's goats, why we always at each others throats
'specially when dad, he f*cked us both, we're in the same f*cking boat
You'd think that'd make us close, nope further away it drove us, but together
Headlights shine, and a car full of belongings
Still got a ways to go back to grandma's house, it's straight up the road
And I was the man of the house, the oldest, so my shoulders carried
The weight of the load, then Nate got taken away by the state at eight years old
And that's when I realized you were sick and it wasn't fixable or changeable
And to this day we remain estranged and I hate it though, but

I guess, we are who we are
Headlights shining in the dark night I drive on
Maybe we took this too far

'Cause to this day we remain estranged and I hate it though
'Cause you ain't even get to witness your grandbabies grow
But I'm sorry momma for "Cleanin' Out My Closet"
At the time I was angry, rightfully? Maybe so
Never meant that far to take it though
'Cause, now I know it's not your fault and I'm not making jokes
That song I no longer play at shows and I cringe every time it's on the radio
And I think of Nathan being placed in a home
And all the medicine you fed us and how I just wanted you to taste your own
But now the medication's taking over
And your mental state's deteriorating slow and I'm way too old to cry
The shit is painful though but ma, I forgive you, so does Nathan, yo
All you did, all you said, you did your best to raise us both
Foster care, that cross you bear, few may be as heavy as yours
But I love you, Debbie Mathers, oh, what a tangled web we have
'Cause, one thing I never asked was where the f*ck my deadbeat dad was
F*ck it, I guess he had trouble keeping up with every address
But I'd have flipped every mattress, every rock and desert cactus
Owned a collection of maps and followed my kids to the edge of the atlas
If someone ever moved 'em from me, that you could've bet your asses
If I had to come down the chimney dressed as Santa, kidnap 'em
And although one has only met their grandma once, you pulled up
In our drive one night, as we were leaving to get some hamburgers
Me, her and Nate, we introduced you, hugged you
And as you left I had this overwhelming sadness
Come over me as we pulled off to go our separate paths
And I saw your headlights as I looked back and
I'm mad I didn't get the chance to thank you for being my mom and my dad
So mom, please accept this as a tribute I wrote this on the jet, I guess
I had to get this off my chest, I hope I get the chance to lay it 'fore I'm dead
The stewardess said to fasten my seatbelt, I guess we're crashing
So if I'm not dreaming, I hope you get this message
That I'll always love you from afar cause you're my ma

I guess, we are who we are
Headlights shining in the dark night I drive on
Maybe we took this too far

I want a new life (Start over)
One without a cause (Clean slate)
So I'm coming home tonight
Well, no matter what the cost
And if the plane goes down
Or if the crew can't wake me up
Well, just know that I'm alright
I was not afraid to die
Oh, even if there's songs to sing
My children will carry me
Just know that I'm alright
I was not afraid to die
Because I put my faith in my little girls
So I never say goodbye cruel world
Just know that I'm alright
I am not afraid to die

I guess, we are who we are
Headlights shining in the dark night I drive on
Maybe we took this too far